- If you are female, dressed from head to toe in matching pink, including the cute polish on your buffed toenails, and above the age of 6, I'm sorry that I can't take you seriously during our meeting. I'm trying, I really am. It's not you--my inner feminist won't let me.
- If your toes and feet are more gnarled and twisted than that tree root I'd prefer sucking to reading Tolkien, please don't wear open toed shoes. Slip-ons are made for a reason.
- If your shorts are so short that I recall Nair jingles from the early 1980s, you do not qualify as "business casual".
- Linen is quite a comfortable fabric for our climate--very thin and light. Keep this in mind when choosing among your thong, your striped bikini briefs, and your Hello Kitty underroos before donning that white linen skirt.
- If you are wearing enough perfume to give a fibromyalgic a migraine from three states away, please don't sit next to me in our closed door meeting. I'm too polite to tell you that you reek, but I'll blog about it later.
- Oh, and Linen Lady, remember that the fabric of that skirt is thin--please take care while "posing" in front of the picture window near the front doors.
OK. I feel much better now.
20 comments:
LOL! I can relate to ALL of those right here in San Antonio. Makes you long for the "Land of L.L. Bean", doesn't it? At least there, people wear sweatshirts in the summer time, and shorts usually come to at least mid-thigh!
But wait, I'm wearing a pink dress shirt, pink flip flops (my idea of business casual in San Antonio) and have on pink toe-nail polish. But my pants are a beige, chocolate and pink madras plaid. Does that mean you only take me partially seriously? Or does anyone take me seriously at all, regardless of how I'm dressed?
See, the madras makes all the difference.
I'm thinking specifically of a woman I saw yesterday, close to 40, wearing a pink t-shirt, one of those crocheted boob holders (I don't know what they're called, but that's what they seem to do), pink denim jeans, pink belt, pink open toed sandals with heels, and pink toe polish. And when I say pink, I mean cotton candy. Made my teeth itch just to look at her. She looked like she was about to lead a tour for Willy Wonka.
i would think that modern feminism would dictate that a gal can wear as much pink as she pleases.
but i still never wear it.
I regret that I have made the fashion mistake of wearing light pants with dark panties--my daughter called me on it. Very embarrassing.
i love pink, and wear it almost every day, but never from head to toe. and i'd never ever wear pink denim, unless for a costume
oo, i know who wears dark panties with light pants...pink gingham seersucker pants with dark brown panties
LOL! You guys make me laugh, even when I'm in a quasi-bad mood. So thanks!
Oh, and apparently Ziggy feels the same way you do about too much pink. When I went home at lunch time and was sitting on the couch eating, Ziggy jumped up on me and spilled some of my lunch on my pretty pink shirt. So I had to change into a cafe au lait colored shirt that matches the lighter brown in my madras pants. But I still have on my pretty pink dangly earrings and my pink flip flops!
Grandma hated pink. Her mother made her wear it when she was a child, and she ALWAYS chose NOT to wear it after she grew up. Now there was a woman who would make a real fashion statement.
My mom never made me wear anything I didn't want to wear. In fact, I have some painful memories of wearing whatever I wanted, only to wish heartily that my mother had NOT allowed me out of the house dressed that way!
The point was, when I was in high school, I hated pink. Anything girly was prohibited. Now, I've found my inner-girly-girl and she loves pink! LOL
last year, pink was the new black.
i take it back that i 'never' wear it. i have some overalls (that i'm wearing now) that are very pale pink (almost white), but that's it.
yeah, there are good pinks out there now, but i've always been so anti-pink that i just can't bring myself to wear it. too bad, because that's a color i could probably wear well.
you'd be fabulous. what you need is a pink t-shirt that has some kind of anti pink statement on it. one year, all the sororities at eku had pink t-shirts, like, the whole mess of em. so we got the same hot pink color tshirts for the women's rugby team. they said something about crushing bones and singing durges, or something. but anyway, it was super fun to wear those on sorority day.
I know Beck's in the middle of a big meeting right now, so I thought I would give her some tips on how to drive her co-workers crazy (not that she needs any help, but still....)
1. Put a trash can on your desk and label it "inbox"
2. When in a meeting, if someone makes a suggestion, and you're asked for your opinion, say "I see what your saying, but I think" and then repeat exactly, word-for-word what the person just before you said.
3. Wear the exact same outfit as your boss one day later. This works especially well when your boss is of the opposite sex.
4. Leave food lying around until it starts partially decomposing. If anyone complains to you about it, say "Oh, I'm just saving myself the effort of chewing"
5. Develop phobias about common office products. If someone is in your office (or cubicle), try to use them as a human shield so the item won't be able to "get you".
6. Yell out random words. When anyone comes to investigate, insist they must be hearing things. As soon as they start to walk away, do it again.
Bec, I think you'll appreciate this. Two summers ago, we were at a church activity--a major one, mind you--and your linen rule reminded me of a particular incident. Geron, myself, and some friends of ours who would be considered "big wigs" in our denomination and district, were sitting on the front row during a break. A lady walked by in cream colored pants and dropped something. She bent over directly in front of us to pick it up, and we couldn't help but notice she was wearing a thong. Not only that, but she had a large tattoo of a dragon or something looking like a dragon through her pants, on her left buttock. Geron had seen it and was going to point it out to me, but dummy me was in shock. When he turned to ask me if I'd noticed, apparently I was sitting there pointing straight at it showing our friends. ANYWAY, I agree with your rule about considering what underwear you will don under your white linen.
Jenn, we took you seriously until you actually fessed to what you were wearing.
That's okay, Lydia. I take myself too seriously, so others have to not take me seriously at all in order to balance it out.
And your story is one of many reasons why I never have and never will get a tattoo (besides, I'm deathly afraid of needles. They hurt!)
Love to you all!
The meeting is over now, Beck. It's time for you to update your blog!
KNOCK KNOCK!
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEECCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We miss you when you're not blogging!
We miss you when you're not blogging!
We miss you when you're not blogging; we need a new post right now!
We'll nag you until we get one,
We'll nag you until we get one,
We'll nag you until we get one,
so do it right now!
I warned you that I would start singing again!
Sure, nag nag nag--but I posted, and you haven't seen it yet!
Lyds, that's hilarious! I won't get a tattoo for a couple reasons--first, I haven't found anything I loved so dearly that I had to have it permanently inked to my skin. Secondly, I don't want to have to explain it to my eventual grandkids: "Gramma, what's that on your leg?"
"It's a birthmark, honey."
"In a shape of a dragon?!?"
And lastly, those suckers hurt! Like, a lot! I have a friend at work who's into tattoos--she and her husband got matching tattoos instead of rings when they married--and she's talking of getting a mini-corset piercing.
If you don't know what that is, you can Google it. I'd recommend staying in the dark, though. I know what it is because I've watched those weird shows on the Discovery Channel.
Post a Comment