Like most children of working parents, our son spends a good chunk of his week in daycare. There are some benefits and drawbacks to this; one benefit is that they keep the room on a kind of curriculum that changes before the kids get bored with it, so songs and games change regularly. The kids learn some routine around snacks, meals, and naptimes, and they get to know the teachers pretty well.
As far as drawbacks...well, this week CJ came home with scratch marks on his face. Apparently, one of the other children *really* wanted a toy CJ had. He's been bitten (but he's also been the biter on an occasion or two), but for the most part, the kids get along. Lately we've been discovering another drawback we didn't expect:
He's learning.
Learning is great, don't get me wrong, but it's a little disconcerting to discover that your child has things locked in his head that you don't know about. Two examples from the past few weeks:
CJ had been acting up badly during the weekends, and frankly, being a brat. Screaming, tantrums, biting, hitting--typical stuff. Looking around the living room one day while he was having a screaming fit resisting naptime, I realized his toys were way too simple for his age. I hadn't really bought him anything since Christmas--could he be acting up because he was becoming bored?
I talked it over with Tom and headed out to Wal-Mart, because really, getting new toys for bratty behavior is always a sound parenting technique. But we were pretty sure that something new would catch his attention and maybe keep the peace.
One of the items I got was a bubble gun--this plastic gun-shaped toy into which you screw a bottle of bubbles, insert a couple AA batteries, pull a trigger and voila! 300 bubbles in 60 seconds! I knew they used bubbles in daycare, and I thought this might be something fun for using in the backyard. After I got home and we got CJ up from his nap, I picked the toy up up from the kitchen table to take it out of the package--
And my son comes running from across the room, clapping his hands and yelling, "Bubble! Bubble!"
CJ's speech is mostly random syllables--this was the first real word, beyond mama, dada, and kee-kat that we had heard. And I was dumbfounded! Not only could my son say bubble, but he recognized the toy on sight, knew its exact purpose, and let me know that he knew.
As proud as I was, I was also a little hurt--he'd learned something without me.
After giving this a lot of thought (and telling a lot of coworkers since it's a cute story), I decided to let it go. I can't be there with him all the time, and never really can be, especially once he starts school. I figured I'd just keep an eye out and share his joy when sharing something new with me. His next opportunity came this past weekend.
CJ loves to sing and dance. Granted, it's still just swaying and jargoning in this tuneless lilt, but it's singing, and he's been doing it since he was four months old. The other night, he was doing it again, but as we watched him, we realized this was different.
He was doing this exagerated bowlegged dance, stepping side to side. He held his hands sideways and clapped them, chanting, "Ba. Ba. Ba." Then he brought his hands down while saying, "Dow. Dadow." Then he lifted his hands over his head, and brought them back down for the sideways clapping.
After he finished this, he laughed and clapped, then started the routine again. As I watched, it occured to me that there was something familiar to it, even though I hadn't seen him do it before, when I realized what he was doing.
"Christopher?" He looked at me, clapping sideways. "Itsy-bitsy spider?"
His eyes opened wide and I began to sing the Itsy-bitsy Spider, complete with hand motions. CJ bobbed up and down, smiling and clapping, and mimicking the movements. It was so cool! He did his routine with me again, as we sang the song in our own ways, and my son had the biggest grin on his face, so happy I'd figured out what he was doing.
Again, I had a brief moment of jealousy--something else he had learned without me. But now that I think on it, I think his learning during these years cuts both ways--not just his learning of new things, new words, and new songs, but also our discovery of these things with him and affirming that we understand where he's coming from, even if he doesn't speak our language yet.
Game Changer
13 hours ago
7 comments:
Hey, Lydia, how's this? No boogers, no noses, no temptation.
I'm so glad CJ is not bothered by boogers, noses, or temptations. I also am glad that he has a fantastic mama who is smart enough to recognize what he's trying to tell her! It would be nice if your daycare would give you a syllabus of what he is learning. Believe it or not, we used to have kindergarten (and every other grade through 8, maybe even a preK too) syllabi at the place where I was formerly employed.
It'll get back around to boogers again, you and I both know it.
And I know what you mean about the whole daycare thing. True, Jamie spent the majority of his preschool years with the same teacher, so I got regular reports (and a friend out of the deal), but still. It really hurts when your child does something for the first time and you weren't there for it.
But, I choose to look at it this way: if he wasn't in daycare and I had to stay home with him, we'd be on welfare and miserable. And that helped me cheer up about it real quick. LOL
Thanks for updating!
It was soooooooooooo goooooooooooooooood talking to you last night, Beck! I hope we didn't make Tom too mad, and I hope I didn't make you miss anything you wanted to watch. I'm so glad we talked though. It felt like those 10 years of not talking never happened! I've missed you and am very glad we're back in touch.
I finally got the keyboard out of my nose. I reinvented an old method with a pair of yard clippers.
Really, though, I think this has been one of my favorite posts to read lately. I'll probably read it again a couple of times. (okay, 200). C.J. sounds SO SO cute! I have a fear of missing my baby's firsts once I have to go back to school. I'll be home with her through her 10th, 11th and 12th month of life, so maybe she'll pull out all the stops on me then--walking, talking, singing, and dancing. I envy the opportunity to stay home with her until she starts kindergarten, but I know its not possible right now.
IN the meantime, how do you know Christopher isn't singing in Klingon or something?
Klingon is a very harsh, gutteral language, and CJ's jargoning is much softer. It's entirely possible he's speaking in Betazed, but not Klingon.
And Lydia, after Lima Bean is born, I have one piece of advice for you--there will be times when you're holding her, and thinking of the laundry that piling up, the bottles that should be washed, the legs that need to be shaved, and that parenting magazine you haven't flipped through yet. These things can wait. Just hold her, breathe in that baby smell, stretch out on the couch, and nap with her. The chores will wait. Perhaps Geron will throw a load or two of laundry. Just enjoy her smallness and cuddles, and stay in the moment. It's hard to do. My only temptation to have a second child is my regret that sometimes, before I finished maternity leave, I didn't just hold CJ and relax, but instead thought of the things I thought I needed to do to be a "good mom" and a "good wife" and to prove my life had not been turned upside down. Go with it. You'll thank yourself later.
And Jenn, last night was great! Tom wasn't upset at all--he's just amazed that I can talk to anyone for that length of time. 10 years gives a lot of ground to cover.
Oh yeah, 2 hours on the phone has barely scratched the surface of it all!
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