In a Pickle

Yesterday, I talked to Jenn while I was upset about something. I won't be going into those details anytime soon, but suffice to say Jenn was the PERFECT person to talk to about it.

Anyway, in an attempt to cheer me up, Jenn asked me if I knew pickles were evil. I was puzzled--I love pickles, always have. During the first few months of my pregnancy I ate a gallon of pickles a week! So I got to thinking about it, and I think she's absolutely wrong.

See, pickles are cucumbers soaked in brine, and brine contains large volumes of salt. Salt was very important before refrigeration for preserving foods, including meats, and in Roman times, soldiers were paid in salt (hence the word "salary"). In modern times, salt was infused with iodine to keep people from developing goiters, and it's been shown that the complexity of salt's composition amplifies a variety of flavors, making the taste more intense than if the food is eaten unseasoned. Salt is used in many recipes, including baking, for this reason.

Cucumbers grow from tiny seeds sown in the earth and can be harvested in a short period of time—two months from planting. Cucumbers contain potassium, which helps regulate blood pressure and prevent muscle cramps. They are rich in fiber and are useful in cooling and relieving tired eyes.

Matthew 5:13 refers to Christians as the "salt of the earth", inferring that their faith was necessary to "season" the world and make it a better place to live. The "salt" they provided through their faith and actions would turn their communities into havens of morality, goodwill, and worship, and without their faith, the earth would be worth nothing.

Going back to salt and its benefits, goiters were a big public health problem until it was determined that iodine helped thyroid health and improves thyroid function. Certain vegetables, like broccoli and cauliflower, are cruciferous vegetables, and they impede the absorption of thyroid hormone within the body. Those who are hypothyroid (like me) cannot eat broccoli or cauliflower while taking synthetic thyroid hormone or else the synthetic hormone will not be absorbed and the thyroid will continue to malfunction. Eating foods with iodized salt, like pickles, helps preserve the malfunctioning thyroid while allowing the body to use the synthetic hormone as replacement for the hormone that the body does not produce. Proper thyroid function is critical for humans—the thyroid governs the body’s metabolism, determining mood, energy levels, hunger, calorie burning, digestion, and reproduction in women.

See, if the thyroid is imbalanced, a woman’s body chemistry will go awry, changing her estrogen production. Ovulation reduces and the natural cycle lengthens and becomes irregular, making it hard for the woman to conceive. So proper thyroid function is essential for women to be fruitful and multiply!

You can see now, absolutely clearly, that pickles are certainly NOT the evil fruit from the Tree of Knowledge to be avoided by all costs. Pickles are manna from Heaven, filled with potassium and iodine, giving us the essential building blocks we need to carry out good deeds, avoid gluttony, and produce new generations. Pickles are a tangible manifestation of “the salt of the earth”.

Because of its ability to impede thyroid function and reproduction, it is also clear that BROCCOLI is the true fruit from the Tree of Knowledge, and should be avoided at all costs.