I posted previously while CJ was napping, and then contemplated which tactic to use in the fight against his toddlerism.
CJ has decided that it's fun to hit, bite, or scratch Mommy and Daddy when he doesn't get his way (that is, can't climb on the couch and over the back, can't bang on the laptop, can't kiss the light sockets, you get the idea). It's frustrating. While we were out shopping, he was a perfect little angel. We get home, and I give him milk instead of orange juice and he's throwing the cup at me and screaming. I tell him no, and he giggles and reaches out to pull my hair. He seems to do it more to me, usually when I don't drop everything to sing Itsy Bitsy Spider RIGHT NOW!
We're trying our best to be consistent, and hoping that soon, he'll be old enough to realize what we're saying and to understand the concept of time-out. Currently, he's this raging little ball of id with no impulse control. I admit that a part of me is very curious about what he's feeling; I know zip about kids, and never really saw children this age. It's interesting to watch the wheels turn in his head as he bops from one thing to another, and sometimes, that makes it easier to predict his next move, or his next outburst.
Emboldened by my visit to the lackluster Tio Art's on Saturday, tonight I made enchiladas. Not bad for a first effort. I needed more sauce and a bit more spice to the beef and beans I made, but I got the technique down on the tortillas. That's what had me worried. Tom took CJ outside to play with bubbles while I cooked, and a nice family time was had by all.
Now, Tom is with CJ while he plays splashy splashy in the tub, and I take a few moments before getting my stuff ready for tomorrow. Five days of sleeping in (OK, only till 9 at the latest) has me spoiled, and I'm not looking forward to the alarm tomorrow.
How To Say Nothing
12 hours ago
4 comments:
As I suggested to you last night on the phone, my pediatrician recommended completely ignoring such behavior. As in, turn your back on your child and totally tune him out, no matter what he does. When he starts behaving again, then interact with him. It seemed to work on Jamie. Unfortunately, I can't remember how long this took, though!
The mantra of every mother of toddlers is - "This too shall pass. This stage won't last forever." I remember thinking though that there's no such thing as the "terrible twos." More like the terrible ones, terrible twos, terrible threes, etc. etc. LOL! But it will be over soon, then you'll miss the toddler stages. I do!
Oh, becca. This is one of my greatest fears: not knowing how to discipline children. Really. But I do think it's very important to always stay calm, and to set a good example in the way you and your husband talk to each other...no yelling, no insulting, etc. You know, be grownups so your kid sees what it should look like to be a grown up. Also, remember, you're his parents; he'll have plenty of friends at school, etc, but only you guys are his parents. You really are "the boss of him." I think you guys'll be fine.
Oh, the "time out chair" on Supernanny, or whatever that show's called, seems to work pretty well. Also, I think giving him lots of positive attention (like you're already doing) and love might keep that attention monster that seems to grow in toddlers at bay.
I like Jennifer's tip, in conjunction with the positive attention thing (like, pay lots of attention to him when he's just being a good boy, so that when he's being a bad boy and you stop paying attention to him, he notices and knows you really love him, just that you don't want to see him being a bad boy).
One of my best friends, when she was little, if she'd have a crying fit, her mom would calmly say "Go to your room and finish that, and when you're done, you can come back out." I think that's pretty cool. She never gets upset about anything now (I mean, she keeps her emotions in check).
And once when I was overseas, we were on a playground, and the missionary's daughter started crying about something really insignificant, and her daddy said, "Tell me what's wrong," and she kept crying and whining about nothing, and he said, "Daddy's gonna walk away becuase you're crying at him." and he did.
Believe or not, Tom and I rarely fight. I can count on one hand the number of big blowups. We keep pretty open communication, so we let things out before the steam rises. I try to stay calm, but it's sometimes hard when the little one is yanking hard on the hair at the nape of my neck because he didn't want to get out of the bathtub.
Yesterday, he bit a child in his new room. This morning, he bit one of the daycare ladies lightly on the hand because he didn't want to get in the high chair for breakfast. I'm hoping while we're on vacation, it'll be so much new stuff that he won't get bored and act out.
In the meantime, you guys are giving me some great advice, and a few people at work have given some as well. So we'll try those techniques and see how it goes. I'm worried because the daycare has a rule about biting, and CJ is getting close to violating it. They all love him because he's usually so sweet, so I think he'll get a bit of leniency. I've talked to the teachers there, and they know we're trying as best we can. I just don't want to have to switch his daycare, and trying to place a "biter" is next to impossible.
i'm not going to offer any advice b/c my kid's not old enough yet! but i do recall a professor of mine whose daughter had some biting issues when she was about your son's age, and it turned out that the people at her daycare weren't handling her outbursts properly. i forget exactly what was going on, but somehow her biting and aggressive behavior was being reinforced/rewarded by how they dealt with her. i'm not sure what they did about it. do you know what kind of discipline there is at the daycare? because if there's an inconsistency problem, it might be there and not with you and tom.
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